Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
