Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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