I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
then he tried to convert me to islam
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
