I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
