a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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