I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
