I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
