i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Congratulations! We have a period
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize