Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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