Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
