Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
