Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
