I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
