he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize