This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
