The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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