will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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