So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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