Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize