We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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