I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
