Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
