I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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