Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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