You're completely useless in the revolution.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
