He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
