He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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