Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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