sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
