Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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