I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
