She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
