you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
