When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
