i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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