either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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