I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
