why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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