i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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