Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
