Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She's the barista slut.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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