The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
