And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize