You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
