absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Do you still have your period?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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