She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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