a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
