GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We left the knife in your bed.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
