This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
