we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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