Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
