whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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