Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
