Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i think i have herpe
just one?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
