I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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