She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
