I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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