i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
