Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
