What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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