btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Randomize
