We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
two words...techno handjob
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
