My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
