Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
