i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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