and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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