Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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