Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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